Yes, I did just use a Spiderman analogy...

I recently saw Spiderman 3 for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I had no idea of the plot - only that Harry turns out to be Gobby Jr (as Tobey Maguire's character calls him) and that Spiderman faces a couple of other nemesis, including one that is a back suited version of himself. Upon watching the movie, I was almost disgusted when the black sticky thingy manifested itself onto Peter Parker's body, transforming him into a much darker character. It gave me the willies seeing the sticky mass  of goo flopping over the floor and up the bed and consuming Peter Parker.

It reminded me of the sin in our lives. How sin is malleable and can transform even the best person into the worst of people. Just as the "new' Peter Parker discovered, the longer he wore the suit, the harder it was to get rid of it. It started out small but eventually grew bigger and bigger to the point where it consumed him. He felt good, invincible. In a way, sin has the same effect. We don't really realize we're doing it until it confronts us in the face. And the longer we resist changing our behavior, the harder it becomes to rid ourselves of it. In the end of the movie it took a monumental effort for Peter Parker to get rid of the new skin. The sin didn't just go away. It found a new host. And this particular character had a lot of hate in his heart. The messy blob latched right on to that and the character became totally evil. He succumbed to the nature of the parasite that got him. Sin is the same way. If we have unresolved anger, bitterness, conflicts - you name it - in our lives, the sin latches on to it. It can make us completely unrecognizable.

That's where Christ comes in. We can't rid ourselves of the sin in our lives. Jesus died on the cross to enable us to have the free gift of salvation. But that does not mean we are perfect, or sinless or without blame. We have to work that much harder because we now recognize the hopeless situation we are in. That without that saving Grace we are forever stuck with that messy blob that sin creates. One way to combat this it to constantly stay in the Word. I have rediscovered this recently. It's not enough to read a couple verses a day - we have to immerse ourselves in it. If we cannot arm ourselves with the weapons He has provided, we are defenseless and it is easy to succumb to the temptations of sin in the world. It's amazing how quickly we can slip away when we let other things take priority to spending time in the Word.   We have to make God our #1. If He is not our main focus, if we are not living for him, then we are walking a fine line and that is a dangerous place to be. Make Christ your focus, spend time in the Word and He will make your path straight.   :)

Giving Life to save a life

I like to donate blood. I can't say that I enjoy the process thought by any means. It's a lengthy process, at least here on the Navy Yard. If you're not the first one lined up, it could take upwards of an hour and a half. I'm always amazed at how many people you will find at a blood drive. Especially the ones who do it on a regular basis. Sometimes, the people are known by name because they come so often. I'll never forget the first time I gave blood. I was nervous, not knowing what to expect. I went through the prescreening, found out my blood pressure,  my temperature and my iron levels. Then I sat in a room and waited for my interview. The process took a lot longer than I expected. After the interview I went to go wait to be assigned a chair. I got to chair to have my left arm stabbed. The phlebotomist looked at my left arm, felt for a vein, then went to my right arm and felt for my vein again. He said I had a better vein in my right arm and, since it was my first time, he recommended that I wait for a chair with a right arm donation. I went to the next available chair and the phlebotomist was Mr. Personality. It was like talking to a wall. He prepped my arm and got ready to stick the needle in my arm. I decided to look. Big mistake. Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of needles. I just don't like looking as it's being shoved into my skin. And the size of that needle was bigger and any butterfly needle I had ever seen. So he sticks me and I'm fascinated as I see the bags filling up. It really is a cool process. He placed a squeeze ball in my hand and told me to gently squeeze every 5-10 seconds. Me, being the over achiever than I am sometimes, was happily squeezing the ball about every 1-2 seconds. At one point, it looked like the flow had stopped and so he shoved the needle further up into my vein. During this time, I was beginning to feel cold and clammy. I'm pretty sure I paled. He looked at me, asked if I was alright and when I said no, he immediately got out an ice pack, tilted my chair back and placed the ice pack on the back of my head. He asked if I wanted to continue the donation and I said yes. After he finished up, he informed me that I had to sit in the chair for about 10 minutes before I could get up. So I sat there and I could already see the bruise forming on my arm form when the needle had been shoved up into my vein. Needless to say I have a bruise for weeks afterwards. I walked away and said I would never donate blood again. Since then I have donated about 4-5 times. I realized that it was a momentary light affliction and that there are other people (soldiers in fact) who may need this donation.

As always with my ramblings, I am taking this story and seeing how I can apply it to my own life through Christ's example. His Blood wasn't a donation - if was a gift, a free gift. And he went willingly and put up with a lot more than a needle prick. If you hear advertisements for blood centers, you'll often hear how there is a blood shortage as well and so donors are needed more than ever. But with Jesus, there is no shortage of his mercy and grace - which we so desperately need - and are provided through the blood he shed. Just like people willingly line up to donate a pint of their blood for our troops, Jesus willingly went to the cross to offer up his life for us, so that we could gain eternal life through him.

Take Every Thought Captive

Have I mentioned I hate tests?? I don't mind them so much mid semester, but as the end of the semester sets in I really start to dread them. It gets so bad that I keep myself awake at night just thinking about all the studying I have to do. The last two nights have been anything but restful sleep. It is now affecting me dreadfully today. When my alarms went off, I mentally called out. But Here I am at my desk. And I cannot motivate myself to do any homework. That sad thing is, I know I am capable of doing well on these tests. But I can't get myself motivated. So last night, I was tossing and turning. I couldn't sleep. I even went to bed at 9PM. But 11:30 I was still up.

Sometimes when this happens, I fight through it and make myself relax. Other times I will turn on the light, pull out my bible and go over some verses I have written down. Here's one of them:

Hebrews 4:15-16

New International Version (NIV)

15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are —yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I was thinking last night about this verse and then again this morning. And I wondered if Jesus had any sleepless nights. Then it struck me. Yes, if fact...he did. In the Garden of Gethsemane. How different my situation is from his. I am not going to my death on the cross (though sometimes it does feel like death by Calculus). I am not so anguished that I am sweating blood (though I sure am stressed about it). This morning's Jesus Calling was awesome too. It said that we shouldn't try to comprehend things outside our understanding. We're not made to do so. If we try, we will only realize our futility. We should instead, trust the One who is all knowing and comprehending. In doing so, we tap into the Peace which Passes all understanding. I wish I had remembered this last night. But I am only human and sometimes I cannot see past my problems.  I am thankful for trials like this. It reminds me that I cannot rely on my own strength. If I try to do so, I will find myself exhausted, frustrated and worn out - much like I am now. I wish it were easy to trust. That in a snap of my fingers, I would cast all my cares upon him. That requires me to let go, to ease up on the reigns. Be the strong willed individual that I am, it is hard. But in the end, it is so worth it. We just have to get past our own pride and insecurities before we can enjoy the blessings of letting go and letting God. :)